She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
