After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
