How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
