i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
