the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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