It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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