I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
