Duck Duck Cougar?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
