i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
