Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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