there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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