Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
