I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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