It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
there was a trapeze. enough said
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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