it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
