Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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