I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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