I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
