i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
meet me or not, i'm out of control
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
