I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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