I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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