who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
