im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
