you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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