I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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