I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
its liver damage thursday
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize