walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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