The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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