I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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