i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
