I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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