Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
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I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
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im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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