i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
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