wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize