We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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