i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
