apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
