I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
