well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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