Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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