so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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