im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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