the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
