Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Non-Jews are for practice
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Randomize
