i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
