I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
