Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
