and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
