How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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