So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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