so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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