Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
