I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
