i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
