I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
