well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
