my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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