I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
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