so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
