If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
