We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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