are you still at the devil's house?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Randomize
