You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
What a dumb baby whore.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The uberlube is also flammable
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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