I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
