meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
