I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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