everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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