I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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