He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
