dude i'm inner monologue high
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
